?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Feb. 20th, 2006 @ 08:56 pm Boa vs. Python/Thoughtcrimes fic.
Title: Interrogations.
Author: Nixa Jane.
Pairing: Brendan Dean/Dr. Emmett.
Rating: R, for language.
Summary: "Look, I know you're really hot, but you're not very good at the flirting thing."




"And where the hell did you two come from, anyway?" the scruffy man snapped. "Did you take a wrong turn on your way to a photo shoot for Vogue?"

Special Agent Brendan Dean resisted the urge to bang his head on the interrogation table, or maybe question the choice of magazine, which would only come off sounding defensive, he was sure. Freya just looked amused. She got a kick out of stuff like this.

"Can you please just answer the question?" he asked, calling on every bit of patience he had and trying to look non-threatening, and not like he was thirty seconds from strangling him.

The man, Dr. Emmett was the only name he'd been able to get, rolled his eyes. "Oh for god's sake, would you stop batting your eyelashes at me? I've told you all I know, and you being all attractive and slutty really isn't going to change that."

Brendan sat back, and widened his eyes. "I was not--I don't bat my eyelashes, and I certainly wasn't batting them at you!"

"You were, actually," Dr. Emmett said. "You've been doing it since you got here. Look, I know you're really hot, but you're not very good at the flirting thing. Instead of handcuffing me to a chair right off the bat, you really should have bought me dinner first."

"You assaulted a NSA agent!" Brendan snapped.

"Oh please," he snapped. "I poked him. He was a sniveling worm, he had it coming, and the handcuffs are just vindictive, really."

Freya was trying really hard not to laugh, Brendan could tell. He rested one of his hands on his forehead and counted to ten. "For the last time, Dr. Emmett, why did you assault Agent Kavanaugh?"

"You work with him and you can't figure that out?" Emmett asked, incredulously. "And I only poked him. Seriously, when did poking become assault?"

Brendan watched the man as he irritably tugged at his handcuffs, frowning and biting his lip. He was kind of a cute, in a deranged mad scientist kind of way. Scruffy. Hot. Freya snickered beside him and he winced, and began reciting the lyrics to Scooby Doo in the back of his mind just to annoy her.

"Agent Kavanaugh said you lunged at him and knocked him into a table."

"He lost his balance, that was all," Emmett said, "and could you maybe tell your partner to stop checking me out? I'm through with women. She's wasting her time. Monica was the absolute last one. She left me for a fucking dolphin."

Brendan blinked. Then he blinked again. He glanced at Freya. "Are you getting any of this?" he asked.

Freya had mostly lost the fight not to laugh. "He was drunk, because, as he said, his girlfriend left him for a dolphin, and Kavanaugh told him that he was in his seat, so Dr. Emmett poked him, a little more forcefully than he would have us believe, and sent him flying."

"Yes, that's right," Emmett said, pointing at her in agreement,; his wrist snagged on the metal cuff and he winced. "Hey, how did you know all that?"

Brendan sighed, relieved the interrogation was almost through. "So there's really no weight to Kavanaugh's claims that he's really a secret foreign agent sent to assassinate him?"

"Nope," Freya said. "This is the fourth time this week he's brought us a not-assassin. Someone should really do something about his paranoia."

"Yeah, like assassinate him," Emmett snapped. "The man's a menace. Can I go now?"

Brendan watched him with narrowed eyes. "Are you going to try and feel me up again if I do?"

"God, you guys are all really sensitive for a bunch of supposed "Special" agents. Fine, I won't molest you again, but I should remind you; you're the one that handcuffed me." Emmett looked at the cuffs pointedly and Freya snorted.

"I think I'll let you handle this," she said, but before she left, she tugged Brendan off to the side. "Just...don't turn your back on him," she warned.

Brendan frowned. "You think he's dangerous?"

Freya flashed him a smirk. "Only to your virtue."

Brendan gave a long-suffering sigh and shoved her out the door. Then he pulled the keys from his pocket and sat on the table counter beside Emmett's chair. Emmett was watching him sulkily now. "I think I'm going to have bruises," he said. "I'm going to sue."

"Good luck with that," Brendan said, as he unlocked one set of the cuffs and moved on to the other. "Oh, and also, before I forget, thanks for knocking Kavanaugh through a table. I'm not actually allowed to do things like that without getting fired, so I'll have to live vicariously."

Emmett snorted. "And where's the apology? There should be an apology in there, somewhere. I have a life, you know, things to do. I can't just get ushered down here to be interrogated every time someone thinks I'm a spy!"

"Just how often does that happen to you?" Brendan asked innocently.

"Well, okay, not that exactly," Emmett snapped, "but you, the government in general, I mean, keep screwing with me. And not in the good way, which I'm totally all for, by the way."

"Wow," Brendan said. "You aren't subtle."

"I'm not actually around people a lot," Emmett admitted. "I mostly hang around with my snakes."

"Uh huh," Brendan said. "I hope that works out for you."

"Don't worry about that," Emmett said. "I'm working on a one-stop cure-all for snake bites, in a year or two, I'll have a Nobel Prize, easy. Also, I'll be rich."

Brendan watched him carefully. "Seriously?"

Emmett nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, there's a cash award for the Nobel Prize. You didn't know?"

Brendan rolled his eyes. "I was referring to the snake bite cure-all. That's cool."

"Oh, right." Emmett's eyes lit up. "Isn't it? Hey, you want to see them?"

"See what?" Brendan asked.

"My snakes," Emmett said. "I just moved down here--I've got a brand new lab, and Betty was flown in last night."

"Betty?" Brendan asked, suspicious.

Emmett nodded. "My boa constrictor."

"You live in a strange world, don't you?" Brendan asked.

"You have no idea," Emmett said.

Brendan grinned. "I have a feeling I might, and if I don't, Freya sure as hell does."

Emmett grinned, still rubbing at his unmarked wrists like he'd been held there for hours and not fifteen minutes. "You up for a little more weird?" he asked.

"Lead the way," Brendan said. "I'm off duty in five minutes, and I wouldn't want to let things get boring."

Emmett placed his hand at the small of Brendan's back to lead him out, and then his hand slid down a little further, and Brendan said, "hey, you promised not to feel me up again!"

"I lied," Emmett said, grinning, and Brendan had a feeling that smile was exactly what Freya had been trying to warn him about.
About this Entry
erik/charles
laytoncolt:
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture Icon]
From:laytoncolt
Date:February 22nd, 2006 04:17 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Hee. Thanks, hun! :-)
[User Picture Icon]
From:darkhavens
Date:February 21st, 2006 06:37 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Ah, I could totally get into this pairing. This is the second Boa vs. Python/Thoughtcrimes fic I've read today and I want more! *g*

Plus, they give me a good reason to watch bad movies again (and again, and again...) :D
[User Picture Icon]
From:fenris_wolf0
Date:February 22nd, 2006 02:11 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Meep. Do you remember where is the first one? I missed it...
[User Picture Icon]
From:darkhavens
Date:February 22nd, 2006 02:19 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
[User Picture Icon]
From:fenris_wolf0
Date:February 22nd, 2006 02:23 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Thank you!
[User Picture Icon]
From:laytoncolt
Date:February 22nd, 2006 04:19 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Hee. Thank you! :-)
[User Picture Icon]
From:bramble_rose
Date:February 21st, 2006 11:18 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Love those fusions of Thoughtcrimes & Dr. Emmit from Boa vs Python. Especially since this is as close as I'm gonna get to any movie that advertises snakes in its title.

I liked Brendan being befuddled by Dr. Emmett and the alluding to Emmett copping a feel earlier & again at the end, LOL. And a light-hearted Freya is a hoot! She was so dark and angsty in the movie. Ah, Kavanaugh being a jerk works in any universe!
[User Picture Icon]
From:laytoncolt
Date:February 22nd, 2006 04:20 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Thank you! :-)
[User Picture Icon]
From:slashfictionfan
Date:February 21st, 2006 11:18 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Not seen Boa.. but get the idea from the synosis etc I've read... but I liked 'Thoughtcrimes' (well JF anyway *g*) and the scooby do bit cracks me up every time... love Brendan, he's just so out of his depth .. and you captured that perfectly...

Damn, need to go find BoaVPython now.. although being a DH film, I have no idea why I don't have it already *g*

Thanks for sharing.... excellent stuff.
[User Picture Icon]
From:laytoncolt
Date:February 22nd, 2006 04:21 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Thank you! Boa is a pretty bad movie, but DH makes the whole thing more than worth it. ;-)
[User Picture Icon]
From:eccentric_alex
Date:February 22nd, 2006 01:37 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Not sure stuff like this happens in any other fandom. But, wow, cool, and I am very amused by Emmett telling 'em they look like they're from Vogue, because that movie was very...artistic, I guess, especially compared to Boa Vs. Python. Also completely unsurprised Monica left him for a dolphin.

Horray for fun cracky stuff!
[User Picture Icon]
From:laytoncolt
Date:February 22nd, 2006 04:22 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Not sure stuff like this happens in any other fandom.

Hee. I can't speak for anyone else, but I've certainly never done anything like this in any of my other fandoms. Only Atlantis... ;-)

Thank you! :-)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture Icon]
From:laytoncolt
Date:February 22nd, 2006 10:02 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Hee, thank you! ;-)
[User Picture Icon]
From:krysalys
Date:February 22nd, 2006 10:45 am (UTC)

*snickersnort*

(Permanent Link)
Well, she did mention the eed to watch his ass... *snicker* And hell, who wouldn't want to grab them a piece of that?!
And damn damn damn... never got to see the pilot to Thoughtcrimes. *pouts furiously* Hopefully the studio'll take pity on me and release it so I can rent it through Netflix soon. *pout pout pout*
Yummy. I'd love to see more of this! Will there be more along this vein? Please?
Heh, Kav gettin' his ass handed to him. *chuckle*
----}-@
Krys
[User Picture Icon]
From:laytoncolt
Date:February 22nd, 2006 10:05 pm (UTC)

Re: *snickersnort*

(Permanent Link)
Hee, thank you! forcryinoutloud and I are a little fond of this paticular pairing, so there might be more. ;-) FCOL has a BvsP/TC fic over here that is adorable.
[User Picture Icon]
From:krysalys
Date:February 25th, 2006 04:14 am (UTC)

Re: *snickersnort*

(Permanent Link)
Oh yeah, I friggin loved that one. But then again, FCOL is one of my favorite writers. ;)
----}-@
[User Picture Icon]
From:4amcoffee
Date:February 23rd, 2006 11:52 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
YES! There needs to be so much more Emmet/Brenden fic.

Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett: Slashable in Any Fandom!

Who'da thunk?
[User Picture Icon]
From:laytoncolt
Date:February 24th, 2006 10:39 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Hee, thank you! :-)
[User Picture Icon]
From:sobelle
Date:February 26th, 2006 06:46 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Hee! definitely the OTP in any incarnation especially if you're writing them... I've not seen BvsP but I have seen TC but it wouldn't have even been necessary with your characterizations... good stuff!
[User Picture Icon]
From:laytoncolt
Date:February 26th, 2006 09:21 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Thank you! :-)
[User Picture Icon]
From:tarlanx
Date:February 28th, 2006 11:58 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
LOL! Loved this one! Loved the way Emmet was tormenting Brendan
From:wychwood
Date:March 2nd, 2006 04:46 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
*giggles*

Heh. Emmett sounds like a character. Not worth watching Boa vs Python for, but I'm tempted for the first time ever.

And yay Freya! *g*
[User Picture Icon]
From:adafrog
Date:February 25th, 2007 05:04 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
hee! This is great!
[User Picture Icon]
From:gail19
Date:February 3rd, 2009 01:44 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Saw this listed at sga_6degrees thanks to Cat_77.

I laughed all the way through.
[User Picture Icon]
From:laytoncolt
Date:February 4th, 2009 01:59 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Thank you! :-)